I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
