i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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