you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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