So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
