i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
