Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
