The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
