I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its about making memories worth repressing
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
