Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
