and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
