I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You ate ashes out of my bong
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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