your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
