no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Where is the hickey?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
