OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
