Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
