you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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