Taylor Swift is so right about you.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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