You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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