I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
