I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
