Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
