new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You ate ashes out of my bong
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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