Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
