Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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