yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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