I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
