Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
