So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
