to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
zippers are such a cool invention
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
