and she was petting her beer can
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
