i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
