every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I forget how to act sober
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
