More tranny stories later!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
