i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
