Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
