too bad you live with your parents still
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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