Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
