Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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