her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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