Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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