id be glad to
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
