My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
