even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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