Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
