Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
