haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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