i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Sober January is a disaster.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
