You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
