i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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