hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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