hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dear god my vagina.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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