I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
