I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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